Advice from Cherika

Charlotte Collins and Erika Marcinek Columnists Cherika’s annual advice column (first and final round) AKA When in Rome, Part II: The Terrible Version Questions 1) How do I get guys to like me? (From Anonymous) I mean you came to the right place, sista.  Make sure he knows you’re interested.  Do fun stuff, like leave flirty notes taped inside his locker. How did it get there? He’ll never know! 2) How do I get girls to like me? (From Anonymous) Whenever we’re in this position we remember the good old phrase, FFSPHE.  F (food), F (free CTA rides), S (sexist jokes), P (pet turtle), H (hot uncle), E (English as a second language). We feel this is pretty self-explanatory. 3) What’s the best way to make friends at Latin? (From Anonymous) We have no authority here. But this is what we have heard works. 1: Hang out in those grade-y places like the lounges, even if the beanbags chairs and general atmosphere make you uncomfortable.  2. Do sports(?) 3. Say hi to everyone! Ever! You ever see! Anywhere! 4. Try to pretend you don’t enjoy watching “Say Yes to the Dress” with your mom more than interacting with peers. 4) How can I be more attractive? (From Blake Weston) Well Blake, good question.  We have some advice applicable to every gender. First of all- clean yourself.  There are several danger areas that we would be more than happy to point out to you that require special attention when it comes to soap and such.  Smelling nice is the first step on the stairway to becoming at least a 5 or 6.  Beyond the physical however, be yourself while subtly concealing those parts of you that most people won’t like. 5) I’m a first semester senior and I’m freaking out! What should I do? (From Anonymous) Oh girlfriend, we paddlin’ the same canoe. We have some tips for you that come in useful whenever we get a little too stressed.  1. Put pictures of the ocean as your background. 2. Right now, we’re drowning our woes in the literary genius of JD Salinger and Marquez.  Erika has been reading The Catcher in the Rye while Charlotte has been spending her nights with Love in theTime of Cholera.  While none of these books are cheery (at all), it takes attention off of inner suffering.  3. Eat whatever, whenever. 4. Odds are you will get into college. Odds are we will get into college. Breathe. 6) The seniors seem scary and intimidating. How do I break the ice with them? (From Sam Cohen) They are.  Well, if you really want to be friends with the seniors, the only way to do it is to go through us (Charlotte and Erika).  We wield a power over the senior grade that no one else can.  Say hi to us. Please.  7) Where/when does Ecco meet? THE PUB. SOON MY CHILD. PLEASE JOIN. SEND US ANYTHING. WE LOVE YOU ALL Xoxo, Cherika]]>