And Somewhere, Mr. #Tempone is Tweeting About It

Screen shot 2013-01-22 at 10.51.39 AM   Rachel Stone Co Editor in Chief At 12:18 Ann Arbor time, everyone on the Model United Nations team was studying. Shoved into a  small hotel room with minimal lamplight and crudely drawn imitation-Picasso wall art, the team didn’t review University of Michigan Model UN’s first day’s committee session or the seven-hour session to come the next morning; rather, with physics notes spread across the beds like second sheets, and dog-eared copies of Beowulf resting atop background guides for future security council and the October Revolution, 16 members of the Model UN team tried to make up all the homework they were missing. The largest club organization at Latin, Model UN is generally a club comprising a constituency of highly motivated, highly focused high-schoolers with penchants for leadership roles and well-tailored blazer jackets—and with snippets of conversation ranging from vectors and electric fields to whether or not working on a resolution in the hotel lobby was completely ridiculous, this year seemed to be no different. Perhaps the only club in which a hotel room pizza party naturally devolves into a study session, Model UN seems to be Latin’s bastion of nerd culture. However, it would take about a dozen Christmas sweaters, two illegitimate birthdays, and a few thousand cinnamon sticks to cement Latin as the nerdiest –and best– delegation at the University of Michigan Model UN. The first day of the conference began with deli breakfast and bleary strategy, and found the team arguing correct methods of parliamentary procedure and reporting the crises of the night before as we tried to summon energy with each sip of Amer’s coffee. As the quasi-lethargic delegation headed back to the hotel before the delegate dance, however, the dynamic changed. Armed with thrifted ugly Christmas sweaters, pig-tails, sparkly crop tops and inexplicably tall platform heels, the delegation swarmed the empty hotel ballroom and transformed the evening from one of painful pick up lines (“Point of personal inquiry: Can I get your number?”) to one of dance battles, flailing limbs, and zero inhibitions.  As Mr. Tempone tweeted, it was the “coolest thing [he’s] seen in the last 6 months: Entire Latin delegation leaves the dance together (early) in a thunderous conga line. #MUNUM.” And as the last “what what-s” of Maclemore’s “Thrift Shop” faded into some obscure Ke$ha song, we left the dance to fumble in our majestic wake. The second day was one of pre-committee Panera and teamwork, in which we dominated in committee and in the social circles of the conference. We struck up friendships with Morgan Park Academy and Carl Sandburg High School delegates, but bonded through slightly sketchy imitation Flattop dinners, the “birthdays” of Carli Kovel and Chris Quazzo as well as the complimentary ice cream, and through the celebratory demolition of a third round of Domino’s Cinna-Sticks. Although the last day was mostly focused on the ends of things (final goodbyes, end-of-conference awards, and train rides), the delegates of Latin know that they’ll arrive back in Chicago with many memories. Senior Christina Bianco was grateful to have discovered that “chai mochas are the bomb-diggity,” and Junior Carli Kovel was just “happy to get to repeat [her] 11th birthday again.” Sophomore Chris Quazzo still held a mini-grudge at the end of committee, and told me “[his] resolution involves launching all of [his] nuclear weapons at Malaysia. (PS: Thanks for the hate note).” Junior (and Club Head) Hedy Gutfreund “just woke up from a nap because someone said Saudi Arabia,” Junior Annaka Stoeckel believes “Somalia is a Grade-A jerk and [she’s] happy to have flirted [her] way onto two of his papers,” yet would like to state that “all the things [she’s] allegedly said on this trip are false.”  Junior Tyler Hagedorn attested that “Nathan Goldberg was the coolest person here,” (*Editor’s Note: Junior Nathan Goldberg was too busy being the most popular person to supply a quote), Junior Maddy Turner was preoccupied with running around the giant cube structure behind the Michigan Union to come up with something to say, and Junior Vic Bruene wondered what he said “that was funny…that’s appropriate.” Advisor Ms. Lorber-Crittiden reveled in her high-fiving all the delegates after the dance, Senior (and Club Head) Mehr Singh recalled how “aliens took over and threw [her] under a desk during committee,” Junior Nicky Azar was under too much pressure to supply a quote, Junior Caroline Volgman stayed behind after the Latin Team left to help a delegate “pass another resolution for absolutely no reason,” and Junior Matt Dluhy would like to point out that I “spelled D’Louie wrong.” Junior Annie McDonough was busy reviewing her stalker photography, and Junior Josh Martin resisted talking about Model UN at all in favor of discussing his obsession with Zingerman’s Deli, explaining that: “beyond the sandwich…the entire experience is amazing. It’s an institution. You walk in there, and there’s any kind of meat you can ever imagine…cases and cases full of cheeses…succulent. (Other schools had opinions about the Latin delegation as well; Shaden Alsheik from Morgan Park Academy described the Latin delegation as “driven, respectful, diligent, bada**, fantastic and…tall,” and fellow MPA student Yusef Kudaimi just wanted to say that “Caroline Vogleman is a beautiful woman.”) As the train rolled through the Michigan snow (and the delegates leaned over their chairs to play “Word Party,”) the team felt a sense of finality. However, we all understand that, whether we’re to return to the University of Michigan or not, we know that the Latin School of Chicago can look forward to future years of Model United Nations with traditions to uphold and new memories to make.   Editors Note #1: R.I.P: The Latin Delegation mourns the loss of Nathan Goldberg, who was sadly lost to Morgan Park Academy/Carl Sandburg High School. We are especially saddened that no one from MPA will know that he was a birdwatcher, and that fewer people will see him with straightened hair.   Editor’s Note #2: R.I.P Leon Trotsky, who tragically died in 1940 but will live on forever in the spirit of Rachel Stone.   Editor’s Note #3: Nathan Goldberg has henceforth been replaced by Yusuf.   Editor’s Note #4: Although the Latin team wished upon a balloon to win Best Delegation, sadly, the award does not exist. We just thought that nine awards could be enough. Stupid awards. Shout out to those who did not win an award. You probably had a better time anyways.   Editor’s Note #5: The best of Mr. Tempone’s Twitter:  

  • “Nathan brings 15 chaperones to date at potbelly #MUNUM”
  • “Nathan inexplicably gets a date #2013 #MUNUM”
  • “Frank Tempone wins best advisor. Easily. In a landslide.” #MUNUM13 #MUNUM
  • “During advisor meeting, Latin kids noted for their ugly sweater initiative at the dance last night. “what a fun group…” #MUNUM