Welcome to After-Prom! Your Parents Approve.
May 25, 2010
Co-Editor in Chief
It’s three in the morning and at this point you feel too drunk to do anything. Heels…heels…where are my heels? You stumble around, avoiding all the couples deeply engrossed in making out as if there is no tomorrow. You know that there are going to be some scandalous pictures on Facebook and a ton of juicy rumors the next day when everyone is hungover. Why did I drink so much? Did I really hook up with him? Oh, God, gross…
After wandering around for a while you manage to find your heels and as you bend down to put them back on, you start to feel sick. Quickly, you try to find the nearest bathroom, but unfortunately it is being occupied. You knock on the door and you hear weird noises from inside, so you decide to back away and find somewhere else. Outside. I have to get outside. Too bad your stomach can’t wait that long. It gives a disgusting lurch and you throw up on the kitchen floor. As the smell of vomit enters your nose, your stomach gives another heave. You find a napkin and clean yourself up.
Welcome to after-prom. Prom is supposed to be that glamorous night where you dance to your heart’s content, feel like a movie star, and have an incredible time that you remember for the rest of your life. What people forget to mention is the real part of the night: after-prom.
Every year, it is the same general routine: kids leave prom, they change from their pretty clothes, and go to some poor person’s house, or hotel room.
Some kids with fake IDs pick up liquor from your everyday stores like Seven Eleven, or White Hen, and they drink well into the early morning. According to an anonymous source, they believe that about 50% of the kids get “really drunk”, 30% get “kinda drunk”, and the rest seem to be “holdin’ up okay.”
The really funny thing is that most of the kids’ parents know what’s going on. According to an anonymous source, “80% of the parents are okay with their kids drinking because they know it’s going to happen. They assume that their kids are going to come back home safely.” Keyword: ASSUME. We go to a school where the administration tries so hard to try to deter kids from drinking. Many parents even try to work with the administration to find ways to make Latin a drug-and-alcohol free community. But, what’s the point if a lot of parents are still fine with their kids partying with alcohol after a huge school event, like prom? The school administration might as well give up.
In an email to the parents before prom, Mr. Graf wrote, “The most influential person in your child’s decision-making around alcohol or drugs is you. Please do your best to have a conversation with your child about your expectations before Saturday night [prom].”
Too bad many parents just “assume” their children will end up being okay after drinking until 3:00 AM, and too bad that many other parents end up volunteering to pay for the one-night-only hotel rooms.
If parents are the most influential people in teenagers’ lives, then does that mean Latin is doomed to forever be a community where every time we complete a survey, our drug and alcohol usage exceeds the normal national average?
A note to the administration: your efforts are futile. Maybe it is time to address the parents as much as the students.
dakgundu • Jun 3, 2010 at 6:11 pm
A response to the anonymous source question going around:
NO STATISTIC WAS MADE UP BY THE FORUM. These statistics all come from the source, including their choice of words to describe drinking situations (ex. “kinda drunk”).
Also, here at the Forum, we put a lot of effort into making sure we get our sources straight. It does not mean we necessarily agree with our sources, but if that is what the source says, we cannot go and change the information/beliefs for our own needs.
ALSO, this article was never based upon what the anonymous source’s “statistics were”. Read the language closely.
Like I said, if it wasn’t after prom, it was another-party. Same old problem that needs to be discussed. I am glad we are actually doing it.
–Dilara, Co-Editor in Chief of The Forum
lfrench • Jun 2, 2010 at 4:06 pm
I think people are asking to know who this “anonymous” source is to prove that the statistics in this editorial are made up, not because they want to call a person out. Just saying.
vmurthi • May 30, 2010 at 5:13 pm
My problem with the source has less to do with the fact that it was anonymous, and more that the information provided by the source was printed at all. I think that not only the Forum but any newspaper should be hesitant when deciding to print ANYTHING that contains statistics that imply some form of accuracy. Since this is from an anonymous source, we cannot expect anything said to be exact since an official poll had not taken place. However, I think it is fair to say that the estimations provided in the editorial not only lack proper context but are also detached from reality. I think it’s only reasonable that definitions of “really drunk” or “kinda drunk” or “holdin’ up okay” either come from the source or are provided by the Forum, simply because the information is from the perspective of a single person, i.e. if the source believes that someone is “really drunk” when they have had one drink, than the people who were “really drunk” after prom would probably be higher than 50%. This is a common problem with sources providing estimations like these: generalizations that might be shared by many might not be shared by all, such as what “kinda drunk” means. Second, I only ask for the heads of the Forum to be cautious when using information like this because it’s a pretty big accusation when a source claims that not only 80% of kids are either “really” or “kinda” drunk after prom, but also 80% of parents are “okay with their kids drinking.” I mean, I’m not a statistician nor do I begin to be an expert on parenting, but I think I can fairly say that those are not fair estimations. In general, not only the legitimacy of sources needs to be questioned, but the accuracy of their information also needs to be taken into account. For example, if I decided to write a report on the current state of chicken farming and I had an anonymous source tell me that chickens in the Western part of the United States are mysteriously turning purple, I would really hope that someone who is above me tells me not to use that information because a) it lacks proper context and b) it’s detached from reality. An entire section of this editorial hinges on this information as the basis for the overall message: parents and the administration need to do a better job trying to deter kids from dinking. If the information is seriously flawed, than the message has little to no foundation.
I also believe that the entire culture of drinking stems from the way the community educates their children about drinking. I fully agree with Evan Dent when he said that the current way the school and parents educate kids about drinking relies on the belief that those who drink should be condemned. This is obviously not working. If we took an approach that assumes that some kids will drink when they are underage at some point in time, whether in high school or college, parents and educators can teach kids to be responsible when they drink. Most European countries have a drinking age that is 18 or less and have had fewer problems with underage drinking because they don’t portray drinking as an evil, sinful activity. The reason why Europe has less trouble controlling children from drinking is not because their kids are saints, it’s because they’ve grown up with the belief that drinking isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just needs to be sensible. Kids act out in America because they’ve grown up with “the locked liquor cabinet” mentality that only supplies a rebellious nature to drinking. Now we obviously can’t do anything about current federal laws about drinking, but we can change our approach to the matter and only then, I believe, we will see real change in our environment.
ckaulas2 • May 29, 2010 at 10:37 pm
I understand that the intent of this article was not to generalize Latin’s after-prom, but to surface an issue for discussion. However, because the opening story was written in second person, phrases like “welcome to after-prom” were used, and the absence of any statistics (anonymous or otherwise) that explain exactly “who” you are writing about, it is not unreasonable for students who do not fit this profile to feel generalized. This means students who didn’t choose to drink after prom, and students who did attend an after-prom where alcohol was served but did not spend the next morning lamenting a hook-up or “throw[ing] up on the kitchen floor.” Even if you were to so “incredibly easily” get a person to admit they lived through the story above verbatim, the rest of us WERE NOT there, we did not witness it firsthand or know the whole story, and we have no right to judge them (let alone their parents).
As for the parents, I can’t believe that 80% of them (at Latin? of the students attended prom? of the students who drank after prom?) feel that their child drinking is out of their control. More likely, they just don’t know about it. Maybe 80% of parents who actually booked a hotel room feel this way, but, again, we can’t generalize the parents of all 200 some kids who went to prom.
As for me, I spent my after-prom alongside Kelly and the Milanos and it was a great night.
lfisher • May 29, 2010 at 12:31 am
By the way, when I say I find some truth in the message, I mean in the message that parents should talk with their children and set a good example- not the message that Latin had a crazy after prom scene that was out of control.
lfisher • May 29, 2010 at 12:30 am
I also found this article to be an extreme overreaction that used a poor choice of personal narrative in the first-person to dramatize and exaggerate a situation the author is not directly familiar with. My problem was not so much the message, which has some truth to it, but the exaggeration and the use of the first person story narrative. First, I really don’t think it does the student body any good and, even if it were true, provide us with any help and guidance to portray Latin as a school full of crazy alcoholics. The stats were MUCH too high. There were so many people (myself included) who did not have the described experience. Second, I think the choice of a highly dramatic narrative only serves to alienate the reader. It seems almost like a trashy memoir or a quote in a pamphlet for alcoholics- not like something Dilara has actually lived through and can speak authoritatively about.
However, I do admire Dilara for her comment in defense and for her good intentions. I think we did all realize she meant no harm in her use of “poor person’s house” and that it was just a bad choice of words (those attacks seem unjustified to me). She also doesn’t live in a cave and it is true that word spreads at Latin. Her presentation of the image she has created from the rumors she’s heard is misguided and I don’t agree with it. She has full right, however, to write any article she wants and express her opinion. I’m sure she knew this would cause a lot of controversy, so good for her for following through with what she believed in.
jwilliam • May 28, 2010 at 8:21 pm
@BManis, you’re right, she doesn’t say 100% of us drank after prom, only 80%. Which, by my numbers doesn’t add up because clearly Dilara and her friends didn’t drink after prom, my friends and I didn’t drink after prom, and not to mention the number of people who did this thing called, “going straight home.” (those are the only ones I can account for so if I left you out keep reading) According to those numbers, lets say that gives us 40+ students, thats more than 20% thats “holdin’ up okay.”
Ben, you’re right though, people drink. People drink and people like it. What they do in their free time is no concern to mine if it does not directly effect me.
akling • May 28, 2010 at 1:31 pm
I’m not going to comment on the content of the article itself, though I would like to point out a few things I noticed. First, the article is listed as an editorial, meaning that it should not be taken as a new report based on facts alone, but rather an argument, using both evidence and opinion, and therefore should not be critiqued as if it were. The statistics she cites are part of a source’s quote and never claimed to be an exact poll, and therefore should not be criticized for being inexact. And lastly, anonymous sources ask to remain anonymous for a reason: so that they can be able to share their opinion without fear of repercussion (the type of repercussion that can be clearly seen throughout this comments section). We should respect that.
bmanis • May 28, 2010 at 1:29 pm
I think that this article was a necessary and well-written STUDENT response to an enormously important problem. Guys – Dilara’s not saying that 100% of students do this, she’s saying that it happens. Her anonymous source wouldn’t be anonymous if that person was comfortable with having his or her name released, nor are the stats given by that source definite! The source is estimating. ALSO. A poor person’s house is by no means a reference to any degree of social class or wealth, it’s like if a family member of mine died, you might say: “Oh, poor Ben”. That person is “poor” because their house is being used for god-knows-what, and they’re probably going to be the ones cleaning up whatever it is that happens. I’ve obviously never been to an after-prom party, but knowing this school I TOTALLY believe that this kind of thing happens, maybe with some frequency, and that Dilara should NOT be criticized for reporting the truth.
I think that Dilara isn’t generalizing anything – she’s not saying that this ALWAYS happens or that EVERYBODY does it, or even that ALL parents know about it and are okay with it. She’s saying that it does happen, whether we like it or not, and that people need to know. Go Dilara.
kohara • May 27, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Dilara, I think you’re making a valid point in a way that undermines a lot of what you’re trying to say. Will some people drink after prom? Yes. Do some parents need to be more responsible for their children? Also yes. But as someone who spent their after prom at the beach eating Milanos and enjoying herself I object to your portrayal of the night. I also think that the people who did go to parties don’t agree with your description of the situation. It’s not fair to generalize about the activities of 250 people. I also think that the issue of binge drinking isn’t one limited to prom night, its an issue the rest of the year too. In the future I would recommend going for less for the shock factor and instead trying to make your point in a form that doesn’t make people react so strongly to the writing alone.
lramos-m • May 27, 2010 at 10:38 pm
If you’re going to write a biased report on a topic that will obviously get a lot of comments, you should definitely get factual evidence that backs up your already controversial argument before you go and bash all the people that participated. This entire article lacks validity because it goes off a “he said, she said” base of knowledge. Reveal your anonymous sources because we are all dying to hear what party they were at.
edent • May 27, 2010 at 9:46 pm
Let’s first clarify “poor persons house”, which is not about socioeconomics but instead about pitying the person who throws the party at their house, who has to deal with all the people and clean up etc.
I think the main issue with this article, and our school policy in general, is that it assumes that no kid drink or should drink and condemns those who do. Almost all kids will drink when they are underage. Trying to educate them the way we do now, which denies the fact that kids do this, is pretty useless. If parents and educators taught a) to not drink or b) if you drink, be responsible, that’s a more reasonable and practical approach.
dakgundu • May 27, 2010 at 6:29 pm
I would like to say several things, and Fript, I hope you approve the comment:
1) Let’s take a step back and analyze the context in which “poor person’s house” was used. Bad choice of words? Sure. ACTUAL connotation: UNLUCKY person’s house. Come on guys, I might be the the type of person to write crazy things, but I am not going to make fun of poor people, considering the fact that I come from a lower-class immigrant family.
2) I would like to remind all of you that this MIGHT not happen at after-prom, but we ALL know it happens at some point or another; do not even bother trying to deny it. Just because I don’t party due to personal reasons does not mean I live in a cave. I think you guys forget how easily things go around in our school and how incredibly easy it is to confirm things through the sources themselves (humans in general are not well-gifted with keeping things a secret).
3) I write these crazy articles and take extreme stances because these are really the way I see things. This does not mean this is the point of view of the entire Forum. I am the crazy one who wrote this, and I might be one of the people in charge of the Forum, but this does not represent all of us. Please keep the rest of the Forum staff out of this/ the Forum in general.
–Dilara Akgunduz
Co-Editor in Chief
egraf • May 27, 2010 at 10:56 am
I MEAN PAMELA
egraf • May 27, 2010 at 10:56 am
that was actually from me.. i swear
egraf • May 27, 2010 at 9:05 am
that ^^^^^comment was from pamela btw
egraf • May 27, 2010 at 9:00 am
this is offensive to me. I expect an apology.
rrajfer • May 27, 2010 at 7:35 am
^treated
parent • May 27, 2010 at 2:21 am
I agree with Dilara that the school has made a valiant effort to deter students from drinking and that the weak link in the chain of support is parents. Not surprisingly, parent education initiatives at school such as roundtable discussions attract parents who are already on board, while parents who could use some guidance rarely show up. Binge drinking is a problem to be taken seriously (regardless of whether the prom statistics Dilara cites are accurate). Perhaps you have ideas for how to reach the parents on this issue.
ssheahan • May 26, 2010 at 11:35 pm
This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever read. Thank god the forum isn’t actually published anymore so most people won’t see this.
sbrody • May 26, 2010 at 9:06 pm
I have to agree with many of the above comments and emphasize that this article really exaggerated what happens after prom. I think the administration did an admirable and responsible job of making our parents aware of the conversations they ought to have with us; and I don’t think that an “assumption” on the part of our parents necessarily denotes a condonation of drinking, drugs, what have you. This article also shed Latin students in a bad light when, really, we are a responsible, educated group of people. There’s a difference between, as a comment above noted, enjoying ourselves and embodying the romanticized version of partying on a CW show. If someone does make the decision to drink, that’s fine. But generalizations aren’t fair to the students, to our parents, or to the administration.
jandruzz • May 26, 2010 at 8:29 pm
I thought it was a great article dilara!
sebach • May 26, 2010 at 5:47 pm
This article really reads more like a writer bashing something they have no real idea about with alot of judgement and stereotypes than a real social commentary.
cszujewski • May 26, 2010 at 5:37 pm
It was one hell of an after prom… just to let you know
eread • May 26, 2010 at 5:08 pm
I cant believe the Latin administration would allow an article where someone wrote “some poor persons house”. I am furious
ispear • May 26, 2010 at 4:29 pm
since this is supposed to be a “newspaper” i would like to see your “anonymous sources”.. especially ones that conduct surveys with a category like “holdin’ up okay”
jspear • May 26, 2010 at 3:55 pm
I think you should write a follow-up article in a less offensive tone and clarify what you were saying in this article. I also think that the heads of the forum (students and teachers) should more carefully review articles before they are disseminated- not to change the ideas of the article but to monitor the tone so that nobody is offended.
dsharp • May 26, 2010 at 2:42 pm
I agree that parents are the greatest influence on whether or not their children act responsibly with alcohol, the problem is that people misunderstand when parents’ actions make a difference.
A parent talking to their child the night before prom about being responsible isn’t going to make much of a difference. Parents raising their children to be responsible and mature and to make good decisions, on the other hand, will result in less binge drinking and less accidents.
Talking to your child for one night isn’t a substitute for spending 17/18 years raising them properly.
(Note that I sound very critical of parents here, but it is still possible for parents to do everything right, and have kids who do dumb things. Sorry parents.)
wbrehmer • May 26, 2010 at 2:27 pm
This seems like a piece of fiction. The information all resembles tween dramas. It makes Latin seem like Jersey Shore…
ccoklow • May 26, 2010 at 12:59 pm
“poor person’s house” ?
ascalambrino • May 26, 2010 at 12:50 pm
i really would like to know where you are getting this information from
egraf • May 26, 2010 at 12:11 pm
this article is, frankly, offensive to a number of Latin students. It reduces a social gathering like after prom into a dramatized, Gossip Girl-esque rager. Your stats seem to come from unreliable that aren’t even cited.
deidell • May 26, 2010 at 12:08 pm
The critical thing about the “assumption” that parents make is that it implies trust in their children. Granted, the amount of trust will obviously differ from one kid to another but if parents trust their kids and their kids’ judgement enough to let them stay out after prom, then what’s the problem?
Speaking personally, my parents had me sign the email that TG sent out before prom as, essentially, a binding contract that I knew what I would be getting into if I did party after prom. They didn’t assume I would be drinking, they just want me to be accountable for my own actions–and that’s what parents really should want anyways
jwilliam • May 26, 2010 at 8:16 am
Did you go to a party? No. Okay, thanks.