Did You Know? Stealing Royal Objects can get you an Estate in Ireland!

Rishav Dasgupta Let us imagine that you are the King of England and Scotland. You have over fifty palaces, a similar magnitude of mistresses, and a bit of an extravagant personality. You have just received a report that your crown jewels have been stolen, but they, along with the person who stole them, have been captured. “MY JEWELS? But they cost nearly £500,000!” you yell. Infuriated, you call for a trial of the man, and he is brought before you. “How did you steal them you ask?” you ask, and thus it begins. “Well, Majesty, I hit the guard on the head with a stick, and I didn’t hit him hard enough, so he woke up and caught me stealing,” the man responds. “Where are my jewels?” “Well, here’s the sovereign orb, a little damaged. And, well, the scepter snapped in half.” “IN HALF,” you exclaim, “but they cost a million pounds!” “I thought you said half a million, Majesty,” interjects the Duke of Ormond. “You are dismissed, Ormond, and as for you…err, what’s your name?” “Colonel Blood, Majesty, at your service. As for the price of the jewels, I can give you up to £6000!” Take a moment to think. What would you do? Would you kill him? Arrest him? Nevertheless, you would never think to award him an estate in Ireland and give him a place at court, now would you? However, this is precisely what happened. The King, Charles II, thought that the £6000 pound offer, along with the rest of the story, was funny and let him go scot-free. The Colonel’s boldness profited him. When you go into this homestretch of the school year, remember that sometimes being bold and brave can pay off. But don’t try to steal the Crown Jewels; nowadays, it’ll surely land you in jail! ]]>