Nina Burik and Lucy Mitchell *Puts audio device on* “Look at this ice on my neck.” — Student #1: “I woke up at 1am on my bed…it was crazy.” Student #2: “Where’d you expect to wake up?” — “I haven’t power-walked in awhile. It’s because it’s not really a winter thing, more of a fall and spring thing.” — Student #1: “Plane crashes are so rare.” Student #2: “Yeah. So are funicular crashes.” Student #1: “Uh…okay.” — *About to touch a Catholic item for good luck* “Am I a bad Jew if I touch it?” — “When I’m in a foreign country nothing comforts me more than seeing an obese American.” — “Look at this baller on the moped with the stilettos—feminism in the flesh.” — Student #1: “My hiccups need to go.” Student #2: “Yeah same.” Student #1: “Oh do you have hiccups too?” Student #2: “…Like no.” — “If we were in the hunger games I would eat you. I’m sorry. It’s just the game.” — Student #1: “Do you ever start texting someone and then you’re like ‘who am I texting?’” Student #2: “Uh…sure.” Student #1: “Like I just looked down and I was texting my sister’s old second-grade teacher.” — “The hotel phone rings and it terrifies me. Waking up in general just scares me because I always wake up to fire alarms. Like on cruise ships, at school….in my house.” — “If you’re with a group of people and you see a bear, don’t worry! You don’t have to outrun the bear, just the slowest person!”]]>