Will! I thought this was a really fantastic article and I think prom culture (at Latin and otherwise) is over hyped. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make someone feel special but asking them to prom isnt the only way this goal can be attained.
Will,
As your class dean who has always had the best interests of the students in mind (including Charlie’s), I am disappointed that you didn’t bother to ask me about the reasons why Charlie was asked to apologize for his song (one of the major reasons is that there were lyrics that were not appropriate for a high school setting where students were, in essence, mandated to listen). Additionally, although some students may not find it “uncomfortable” (your word) witnessing a public prom asking, that is not true of all students. In fact, I believe a public asking to prom (whether it is from the stage or anywhere else in the school) is an act of exclusivity that leaves many students (and again, I’m not concerned with my own feelings here) feeling badly about themselves. Finally, I had made it clear to Charlie that the deans (including myself) took responsibility for not making the “rules” of public asking clear before Charlie’s performance.
Yeah, and the part about the giant deal of it I absolutely agree with. It’s become part of our Prom culture that the asks are super excessive. And I guess, what’s the purpose? I haven’t had to do so myself, but it seems like a lot of effort for something small like that (although those who know me well would know that I wouldn’t be the type to do something grand anyways. I’d probably doing something super anti-climactic like sending a text at 9:44 in the morning on some random day that says “hi want 2 go 2 prom?”)
I really admire Charlie for being able to get up on the stage and sing in front of the whole school. I think it’s wrong how he was forced to apologize for something that he didn’t even know was against the rules (correct me if I’m wrong, Charlie).
Latin presents itself as a very supportive community. But, when someone gets on stage and expresses vulnerability, we admonish them for it. I think there is potential now for students to feel uncomfortable getting on stage and showing off their talents. If you look for a problem, you will always find one.
The reality is that there are heterosexual couples, homosexual couples, and types of couples in between (most of which I honestly probably don’t know about). Was Charlie’s prom asking an example of a heterosexual relationship? Yes, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. We shouldn’t punish people just because they fit into a majority (in this case, heterosexuals). Homosexuals should be free to express who they are, and so should heterosexuals. There shouldn’t be a difference in how these two types of relationships are treated. I feel by saying that his asking was perpetuating a heterosexual norm, we are saying there is something wrong with this type of relationship.
I wonder how students and faculty would have felt if a boy asked a boy or if a girl asked a girl during gathering. Would we have been as ready to attack the asker or would we have been more sensitive because we want to make students who don’t fit into the “straight” label feel they can express who they are? Overall, I feel that in our pursuit of equality at Latin, we punish those who are maybe the stereotypical “norm” in our society. Equality is about accepting everybody, not about punishing those who fit the standard and raising those who are “different” above everybody else.
Will, great article.
Haha, Will, two articles (more?). I dunno, I was uncomfortable- and frankly I feel like a lot of these asks waste my time. I think what bothered me was that EVERYONE had to sit there and see it, and that it was forced. Also, with these huge asks, I feel awful for the guys who want to ask girls (or guys) to prom- it must be super stressful to be expected to make a giant deal of it.
pgilden • May 7, 2013 at 4:56 pm
I just want the day to arrive when, in a public Prom-asking, a girl (or boy) says NO.
tczaplin • May 3, 2013 at 9:41 am
Will! I thought this was a really fantastic article and I think prom culture (at Latin and otherwise) is over hyped. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to make someone feel special but asking them to prom isnt the only way this goal can be attained.
amcglinn • May 2, 2013 at 9:37 am
Will,
As your class dean who has always had the best interests of the students in mind (including Charlie’s), I am disappointed that you didn’t bother to ask me about the reasons why Charlie was asked to apologize for his song (one of the major reasons is that there were lyrics that were not appropriate for a high school setting where students were, in essence, mandated to listen). Additionally, although some students may not find it “uncomfortable” (your word) witnessing a public prom asking, that is not true of all students. In fact, I believe a public asking to prom (whether it is from the stage or anywhere else in the school) is an act of exclusivity that leaves many students (and again, I’m not concerned with my own feelings here) feeling badly about themselves. Finally, I had made it clear to Charlie that the deans (including myself) took responsibility for not making the “rules” of public asking clear before Charlie’s performance.
bstelian • May 1, 2013 at 11:29 pm
careful, will! don’t ruin the surprise, that text might make someone’s day. starting at 9:44, at least.
wnuelle • May 1, 2013 at 10:24 pm
Yeah, and the part about the giant deal of it I absolutely agree with. It’s become part of our Prom culture that the asks are super excessive. And I guess, what’s the purpose? I haven’t had to do so myself, but it seems like a lot of effort for something small like that (although those who know me well would know that I wouldn’t be the type to do something grand anyways. I’d probably doing something super anti-climactic like sending a text at 9:44 in the morning on some random day that says “hi want 2 go 2 prom?”)
byoung • May 1, 2013 at 10:19 pm
I really admire Charlie for being able to get up on the stage and sing in front of the whole school. I think it’s wrong how he was forced to apologize for something that he didn’t even know was against the rules (correct me if I’m wrong, Charlie).
Latin presents itself as a very supportive community. But, when someone gets on stage and expresses vulnerability, we admonish them for it. I think there is potential now for students to feel uncomfortable getting on stage and showing off their talents. If you look for a problem, you will always find one.
The reality is that there are heterosexual couples, homosexual couples, and types of couples in between (most of which I honestly probably don’t know about). Was Charlie’s prom asking an example of a heterosexual relationship? Yes, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. We shouldn’t punish people just because they fit into a majority (in this case, heterosexuals). Homosexuals should be free to express who they are, and so should heterosexuals. There shouldn’t be a difference in how these two types of relationships are treated. I feel by saying that his asking was perpetuating a heterosexual norm, we are saying there is something wrong with this type of relationship.
I wonder how students and faculty would have felt if a boy asked a boy or if a girl asked a girl during gathering. Would we have been as ready to attack the asker or would we have been more sensitive because we want to make students who don’t fit into the “straight” label feel they can express who they are? Overall, I feel that in our pursuit of equality at Latin, we punish those who are maybe the stereotypical “norm” in our society. Equality is about accepting everybody, not about punishing those who fit the standard and raising those who are “different” above everybody else.
Will, great article.
Mary Jane • May 1, 2013 at 10:00 pm
Haha, Will, two articles (more?). I dunno, I was uncomfortable- and frankly I feel like a lot of these asks waste my time. I think what bothered me was that EVERYONE had to sit there and see it, and that it was forced. Also, with these huge asks, I feel awful for the guys who want to ask girls (or guys) to prom- it must be super stressful to be expected to make a giant deal of it.