Charlotte Collins & Erika Marcinek Staff Writers Happy holidays, kinfolk. Chrishannukwanza is coming up, and while most writers would use this time to write an article about traditions and meanings, we are greedy. We want things, followers, we want things. So, motivated by this and Kristina Mensik’s suggestion that we stole, we have crafted a wishlist for the sole purpose that you all go out, clutching crumpled and care-worn photographs of us to your chest, and fetch us those things we desire

1. We would like for Will Nuelle to agree to be our mutual boyfriend for the rest of senior year/eternity. Sure, you’re underage and don’t really like us, but these past two years of Ecco have been unforgettable, sunshine.
2. We wish Mr. Gilden had a song for every holiday.
3. We want our Great Novellas class to materialize into a secret society/cult whose members keep in contact through choice or by force until each one meets their demise.
4. We want everyone to end up at a college they like.
5.  Charlotte wants a mate for her cockroach Henderson, who appears to be in heat.
6. Erika wants to be able to just lay down everywhere.
7. We want to be able to part the busy hallways like the Red Sea.
8. We wish there were even more date tables in the cafeteria (taking away the stressful pressure of having to sit with more than one person, even a group of good friends who you then hang out with on the weekends).
9.  We would like that blood oath truce contract we sent to the Street be returned. What’s wrong, guys? Not willing to go through physical discomfort and health hazards of blood letting in order to cease the guerilla warfare between us? Leave it in our mailboxes, piled on top of the thousands of Ecco submissions we are getting. As for Vidi, you guys haven’t received a truce contract. That’s not an accident.
10. Speaking of our brutal rivalry with the Street/majority of the Latin community, why hasn’t there been more drama and outrage lately? Cherika is getting bored with the banal goings on around here. Entertain us, sweet servants, entertain us. We want drama, an NC-17 rated charity youtube video in gathering, we want Yinga to swear for the entirety of one of her announcements, we want a West Side Story-style dance off between the two gangs running this school. Surprise us.