Co-Editor-in-Chief
Latin students don’t like to be psychoanalyzed. We prickle when Latin teachers hand us surveys with trick questions we can see through, and we know many of the “morals” behind lectures before they begin. Frankly, we know the self-esteem speeches and we know we shouldn’t smoke, we know college isn’t something to spend senior year stressing about and we understand that we should be tolerant individuals regardless of race or sexuality or religion.
We’ve consumed our global curriculum and have emerged knowledgeable individuals, savvy about the world and the media and ourselves. But what about our thighs?
I sat down at a cafeteria table last week, my tray laden with the school’s hot meal: steak with mango salsa and a bright looking slaw on the side. “Wow,” a classmate seated in the booth responded. “You’re really eating today.” I had found it interesting how, that day—the day my lunch had deviated from what I saw mirrored across the rows of cafeteria tables (a Greek yogurt, a Luna bar, and vitamin water)—was the day my food choice was questioned.
Flash back to spring of 2011, when for a week, the mirrors of the girl’s bathroom were tattooed in inspirational messages and I left my eyelashes unlined. We knew it was more than truth and beauty: we knew the media skewed our perceptions of ourselves, and we knew that ultimately, our job was to love our bodies and our own skins. Yet, we also knew that we attend a school where many of the students adhere to a particular aesthetic, and the “Latin Girl Lunch” is a reality.
So I ask my questions with this in mind, the idea that Latin students know how we should see ourselves, but despite what we know and why, there are unwritten rules. Even if we know we should see our bodies positively and that teenagers are impossibly susceptible to the influence of the media, can we really change how we see ourselves? Does a Latin education really contribute to changed attitudes or behaviors? In the end, what does education really teach us?
Not much, apparently, about how to see our own bodies positively. When asked in an online survey if there were a few things about their bodies they wished they could change, 52 out of 59 Latin students responded with a “yes.” So even though we’ve been bombarded with positive messages about accepting ourselves, we don’t take much of it to heart. This isn’t only a Latin problem—if self-confidence were that easily won, it wouldn’t matter.
However, when asked if Latin students felt there was a predominant aesthetic that the community finds attractive, one student in the anonymous survey responded that “[s/he] sometimes feels that if [s/he] went to a public school [s/he] wouldn’t feel that [his/her] completely healthy weight was fat.”
I couldn’t figure out if Latin’s insular quality was completely to blame for this perception, but upon reading more of the survey results, it made more sense. If we perceive there is a certain way to act but are silent about these perceptions, they can influence us more. For example, if students perceive that girls should order salads at lunch and guys should order as much protein as can fit on a tray, students believe they should be doing that too.
When asked to make a generalization about a typical Latin guy’s lunch and girl’s lunch, 49 out of 54 students wrote the word “salad” for girls and not for guys. If students believe that a Latin girl’s lunch should be “never more than a single thing (ex: one container of yogurt, one bagel, one tiny salad container, one Luna bar, but not a combination of any of those things),” or “a small salad with minimal dressing and a judgmental look to my pasta” whereas a Latin guy’s lunch can be “carbs, carbs, more carbs,” the perception will linger until it won’t just have been one guy who has “heard about the Greek yogurt lunches for girls,” but will be more ingrained than it already is.
(If it seems like there is a strange emphasis on judgment from the girls’ perspective, it’s because there is. Although a good portion of the female population at Latin identify as feminist or are involved in the women’s alliance that perpetuates positive body image… and even though body image is obviously not a girl’s issue, 49 out of 59 students found that the female population was more judgmental on the issue of body image, with just one person out of the total believing the student body to be impartial and accepting).
Even though we know we shouldn’t feel the way we do about ourselves and our bodies, and even though we could probably rattle off plenty of information on the dangers of anorexia nervosa and the detriments of critiquing ourselves, over 70% of those surveyed would be happy if they found out they lost weight this month. Stranger still, more students know someone with a calorie-counter app than those who don’t.
Cut forward to the year 2045, when all of us now in high school have found ourselves advancing in our jobs, in our lives, or nearing 50. A panel of alumni from the class of 2013 has come to visit the current high school class, with a presentation prepared about self-confidence and body image.
Not much has changed about their personal opinions on the matter—they still believe everyone should love their bodies, and even though they themselves can’t look in a mirror without pinching the soft skin gathered in a subtle paunch below their abdominals, they believe that everyone else should be able to. Our children will see themselves the same way we do now; there will still be unwritten rules, at least in their cafeterias.
Unless we can be honest with ourselves and each other—that, even though we know we should know better, we still perpetuate a culture that’s killing us—we won’t make it past our own hypocrisy. When we can start to admit that, despite our best efforts, Latin students are just as susceptible to a society that favors models with thigh gaps on girls and muscled masculinity on guys, we can start to heal. When we’re talking about our bodies, what we know already isn’t enough.
Categories:
The Latin Girl Lunch
March 4, 2013
17
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kgreer • Mar 9, 2013 at 3:44 pm
Congratulations on the article, Rachel. And congratulations to you and your co-editors for a great year of the Forum.
I offer the following as just a suggestion and I don’t mean to place blame or politicize yet another part of life at Latin. But…
I’m assuming that prom dress shopping is around the corner (or has it already been done)…
Perhaps a bit of Latin girl solidarity and Latin guy decency about the prom would be a good place to start? I imagine that the self-loathing, ranking, demeaning comparisons, snarkiness, and body panic escalate that time of year.
Would be great if Libby and Josie arrive at a more caring Latin one day because of your legacy.
mbaughman • Mar 8, 2013 at 12:10 pm
Thank you Rachel for your fine article. This is, as Ms. Schmadeke said, an issue many of us have been confronting for years, and one we should continue to address.
gschmadeke • Mar 8, 2013 at 10:27 am
As I read this article, I couldn’t help but find myself back in high school, struggling with this exact same issue. With every generation this seems to continue, just in different forms, and its time to stop. Let’s continue to talk about it, address it, and look out for each other. Thank you for writing this Rachel!
rcarpenter • Mar 6, 2013 at 4:06 pm
Great article Rachel!
skim • Mar 6, 2013 at 10:56 am
rachel, stop being amazing.
i really enjoyed this article! definitely worth the read 🙂
mberger • Mar 6, 2013 at 10:04 am
what a spectacular article!!!
gmiller • Mar 5, 2013 at 10:31 pm
The problem is girls (including myself) are trying to fit into these conflicting molds shaped by media. Not to be a complete pessimist but unless we sit in a dark room starting at the wall all day, we are constantly reminded of our body shape whether we like it or not, and there is nothing we can do to stop it. Whether it be through watching the rail thin actress on t.v or even shopping (am I the only person realizing how everything is getting shorter and tighter) I find myself constantly comparing my body to others. It’s easy to get confused on the “ideal” body type. Obviously having supermodel body is looked upon as ideal in our society but lately having curves is too ( take a look at Kim K). Basically what I am trying to say is the media is giving us conflicting molds of what the “ideal” body is. They praise SI models for their luscious curves while also idolizing the board-like runway models. This creates an unreal and impossible view of what the perfect body is. We need to stop looking at the superficial people on the media (who do crazy/ dangerous fast and diets to get their bodies) and instead take a look at real women and girls in our community.
bhennessy • Mar 5, 2013 at 7:14 pm
Rachel – you are inspiring! Thanks for the article. I call on you, students, for next steps. Happy to support how I can.
ftempone • Mar 5, 2013 at 5:58 pm
Stopping my grade report duties to read this article was the best decision I made this week.
sfript • Mar 5, 2013 at 4:30 pm
Don’t forget about what the guys are doing to their bodies. All that salt, sugar, fat, and carbs. Perhaps that lack of care might help explain why men live 5-7 fewer years on average than women do.
rstone • Mar 5, 2013 at 3:55 pm
I really appreciate the arguments behind these comments, and I definitely think that a good part of this article’s point was to foster discussion about an issue that resonates with us more than we want to admit.
But I’m a little stuck as to how to proceed. How do we deal with the truth– that us Latin students diet, calorie-count, body-bash and pick ourselves apart– beyond just admitting that it’s a problem? I honestly don’t know. L.A.W has tried the Truth and Beauty Week thing, we’ve tried to raise awareness and be open and accepting, etc., but obviously it hasn’t worked.
I’m asking this as someone who is guilty of body-bashing, someone who has dieted and calorie-counted and who has perpetuated the same stereotype that I’ve written about. I’m admitting that because I want to make it clear that I’m not calling out anyone or being more hypocritical…I don’t know how we can change our society more than admitting we have a problem, and I know it will take more than discussion. When classmates told me how a significant number of their friends take a certain form of ADD medication over another form (Concerta instead of Adderal) because one of the side effects is loss of appetite, and when I talked to a friend who told me she was afraid of going on birth control because of the weight gain side effect, I can’t help but think more needs to be done than simply to talk about it.
So what can we do?
dnettles • Mar 5, 2013 at 1:36 pm
Fantastic article! Really well written.
wnuelle • Mar 4, 2013 at 11:51 pm
What are we going to do when you’re gone, Rachel? This was excellent. Good stats to back everything up and way to start to get at the heart of an important matter.
jschloss • Mar 4, 2013 at 11:44 pm
I think the average Latin student is generally educated on what a healthy diet entails. When people eat unhealthily, they know it, and when they are eating healthy choices, they are conscious. What the problem really is is the sacrifices that people are making for their appearances. While some of us can eat a small side salad and be full (power to them), a lot can’t. We need to make the differentiation between eating a small salad because you’re not hungry and eating a small salad and pretending you’re not hungry. Truth and beauty week went to a certain point, maybe Latin needs a truth and diet week where Latin students are encouraged to make the choices they want sans judgement. LAW?
jpharoah • Mar 4, 2013 at 11:33 pm
you’re a genius
rstar • Mar 4, 2013 at 11:23 pm
I think this article brings up so many really good points. I thing a huge problem in our community, and mainstream society, is that we are struggling to differentiate between which choices we make for our health and which choices we make for our appearance. Eating salad is not necessarily a bad thing – provided that students are getting a well-balanced meal and enough calories from that salad – which i sincerely doubt most get in the tiny takeout boxes i see all over the lunchroom. So here, for me personally, is another part of the conflict; a part we don’t talk about very often. While we definitely should accept all body types – is it wrong to aspire to a healthy lifestyle (i don’t mean super skinny models, i mean truly fit, healthy figures). If so, how can we educate people to know what is really healthy versus what will make them skinny, and, as you said before, is there enough of a drive to change the culture in that direction? How can we encourage healthy choices, without either accusing people of being to body conscious or by making them to self-conscious to be ok with their body?
sfifield • Mar 4, 2013 at 10:55 pm
Great article.