Living Gracefully
October 16, 2015
It’s finally October again. Leaves are falling, the wind has picked up, and your orange and blue boathouse jacket doesn’t seem all that unnecessary anymore. But something else has happened, something far more important than any weather forecast: stores have started selling Halloween candy. (Actually, they’ve been selling it since mid-August, but that’s ridiculous and we’re not going to talk about it.) It’s a known fact at Latin that Halloween is the best holiday of the year—that is, unless you care at all about your family, heritage, religion, or dental health—so make your evening as perfect as it can possibly be. Here’s what you need to know.
***DISCLAIMER: If you don’t dress up for Halloween, please stop reading because I have no respect for you.*** The very core of Halloween, of course, is the costumes. There are so many genres, so many options. Will you be a character from a TV show? A nameless police officer? A celebrity? A clever joke? The possibilities are endless as long as you follow these easy guidelines. First, make sure that your costume doesn’t offend anyone. It would be extremely embarrassing to get dress-coded at a school with virtually no dress code. Don’t let it happen to you. On the topic of dress code, don’t wear a costume that’s too short, tight, or suggestive. You’d look great, of course. But if history repeats itself, as history tends to do, the temperature will hover around 40ºF with a face-freezing wind chill and an inhumane amount of hail. Frostbite sucks. Cover up. And most importantly, be creative. Nothing kills Halloween spirit like thirty Toews impersonators in the same building. Take one of my fantastic ideas instead:- A bad pun
- Donald Trump
- Something educational, like a simile or photosynthesis
- Your greatest fear
- A mannequin in an uncomfortable pose
- Donald Trump’s hair
- Your Mickey Mouse painting from freshman year
- Someone from Parker
- “A mouse, duh!”
- Kanye West dressed as Kanye West
- A college
- Millard Fillmore, the 13th US president
- Someone who drank the Mars water and now has unusual superpowers
- A bean
- The Bean
- Mr. Bean
- Yourself in middle school
- Gunther from Friends
- A pen
- The fire above Adobo Grill
Great article, Grace!