Anthea Fisher People read The Forum? Who knew! Well, I didn’t, so now I’m going to clarify the last article I wrote where I made fun of myself and I guess people didn’t like it. Or, more specifically, “Girls with Boyfriends” (as a source claims) really didn’t like it. Regardless, whoever was unhappy and/or didn’t laugh while they read what I wrote: I’m sorry!

Though The Forum is a serious school newspaper, there are people who write sarcastic and/or satirical pieces for the sake of humor, and it doesn’t seem like readers have been getting it. To be funny is the number one goal of satire (Noun: The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, etc.) so if my self deprecation wasn’t funny á la Jon Stewart (another example of satire: Stephen Colbert. He’s humorous, right?), then I feel pretty bad.

Stupidly, I thought that this school would have liked some poorly-executed Louis C.K.-type self-loathing in an article about what it’s like to see people who are really cool and/or your friends together whilst being single, but apparently it was just “super bitter.” Maybe single jokes aren’t funny anymore or maybe it’s just that—if Taylor Swift has taught me anything—high school relationships are no laughing matter. Whatever it is, it’s a real bummer when people don’t read the stuff you write as funny and instead take every word seriously. To be clear though, I have seen every episode of 30 Rock four times, and I did illegally download season three of Downton Abbey. That part I will not apologize for, because I have no regrets. But to the couples in my grade, I seriously have no problem with you, and if you’ve ever met me, you should know I’m not some inter-gender-interaction-hating monster. Someone mentioned that we have more relationships than last year, and I thought of seemingly funny stuff in my article that loosely referenced and exaggerated that. Maybe it was a bad idea, maybe you didn’t think it was funny, maybe you have a boyfriend and “got really offended”—whatever it was, it wasn’t what I wanted and I think we may need to stop taking everything written in this news source so seriously. So, finally, I just want to remind everyone that comedy is benevolent. People say that laughter is the best medicine (though I think penicillin is kind of good too) and it’s really supposed to make people happy. I guess people haven’t been finding the recent Forum satire funny, so the happiness aspect didn’t pull through. But, from the bottom of my (last one, I promise) lonely heart, I hope you at least laughed at my salad comment, because I really do hate lettuce. Next time: a formal apology to lettuce, and every other leafy green vegetable I’ve besmirched in the past.]]>