Are the Stars Wrong?!

Taylor Pedicone Staff Writer Imagine finding out that a lifestyle you have been accustomed to for years is suddenly taking a sharp turn – a turn that will lead to a completely different identity.  This feeling was exactly how a majority of people who follow daily horoscopes felt when the new horoscope list was recently released. The list altered the dates of the 12 constellations and even adds a thirteenth, Ophiuchus.  Disbelief and rebellion filled the hallways. A junior, Ashley Henderson, was appalled, “I am a Gemini, and a twin, and Gemini symbolizes twins, and now that it changed I can no longer say that I’m a Gemini and a twin, now I’m just a twin, and that sucks.” Many others joined Ashley in their disgust, “I can’t believe my zodiac element switched from fire to water… That’s like the opposite!” yelled Carter Bird, another junior.

The New Zodiac List:
Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Pisces: March 11 – April 18
Aries: April 18 – May 13
Taurus: May 13 – June 21
Gemini: June 21 – July 20
Cancer: July 20 – Aug. 10
Leo: Aug. 10 – Sept. 16
Virgo: Sept. 16 – Oct. 30
Libra: Oct. 30 – Nov. 23
Scorpio: Nov. 23 – Nov. 29
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29 – Dec. 17
Sagittarius: Dec. 17 – Jan. 20
Students wondered who was to blame for this radical new list.  The answer was Parke Kunkle, an astrologist from Minnesota who claims that the earth has shifted since ancient times, meaning our zodiac signs have always been wrong by about a month. Looking back, maybe on a day when we read that we should try for an award at school, we should have been looking for that special someone.  Has all of history really been a giant zodiac mistake?  Several other astrologists said no, and claimed that if these alterations were in fact correct, then they would only apply to people born in 2011.  That’s a relief for all who look to the stars for guidance, don’t worry, and stay true to your sign!]]>